My Sugar and Gold
by MelloxChocolate
Summary: Continuation to Nemesis. Lemon. Izaya x Namie.


Continuation to Nemesis. Again, I'm focusing more on Namie. I simply believe she is a person that needs more explanation than she gets. It's my second time ever writing a (not very detailed) hetero lemon, ah...I wanted to write a kind of happy fic, I tried. Maybe I'm simply better at conveying negative feelings than positive ones. I want it to turn positive somewhere down the road...maybe next time, haha.

* * *

Risky...it's the last word her brain can comprehend, as she hesitates in the door to his bedroom. Her eyes catch a glimpse of the mirror she passes, she can't help but to wonder what exactly she is doing.

Her reflection being cast right back at her, she stares one last time at the woman so unfamiliar to her now, before throwing herself away. After all, that's all it is, isn't that so?

Namie hovers over the bed, stretching her fingers in an insecure touch, the tips brushing the cheek of the sleeping man; the strap of her nightdress sliding off her shoulder. She holds her breath as he shifts, thoughts of backing away crossing her mind again, just before a hand grabs her wrist and crimson eyes gaze at her. Without another word, he pulls her down as his lips connect with hers.

She lets herself go, allowing Izaya to take over. So many thoughts causing confusion, as she attempts processing how this even started.

* * *

She was lonely. For so long. Always. For as long as she could remember she tried her best, to get what she wants, to selfishly make the life of the one person she cares about better; to gain his love. But everything went out of control, she began losing it when the things precious to her, filling her whole existence, slipped away one by one. All that remained a constant in her daily life, was this man.

She hated him, she didn't enjoy his company and he didn't enjoy hers. They were sheerly using each other, prepared to discard one another once they have outlived their usefulness.

It was probably the very moment she realized precisely this, that things changed. Or perhaps, it wasn't that things changed, it was precisely something in _her_ that changed. It was at this point she followed the stairs to the roof. To get a clear mind, said the arrogance.  
Stepping closer to the edge, more so in a literal way rather than the metaphorical sense that could be applied to her life.

She didn't want to jump.

Because someone like her, who has reached so many goals in her young life already, and was so passionate about her future achievements, would never waste her potential.  
She smiled in foolish anticipation, getting the phone out of her pocket as she dialed her brother's number again. Namie was certain he would pick up this time, after all they were connected by fate. She believed, no, she knew-

"The number you dialed does not exist."

Her smile froze as her heart shattered, the ground beneath her feet seemingly disappearing and making her sway. "This can't be...", she kept repeating with no one to hear, stubbornly pressing the button. The voice's message didn't change.  
"This can't be...", tears she didn't notice began swelling in her eyes, it was the second her smile tasted the saltiness that she finally realized.

He was the only person she ever wanted, the only person she ever loved, the only person who has always been there.  
And now he's...gone? Just like that? He's gone... _forever_?

It was like she did never exist to him, like they never shared a connection in the first place. Was it all in her head? A _fantasy_ she believed in to feel less alone? Chasing someone who so very clearly didn't want her.

Namie never minded the loneliness, but now it felt like she was directly hit by a train. Like everything building up the last couple years washed over her in this second, the force taking her heart away with it.

Her silly obsession having been disillusioned. _Silly?_ Was it that what it was? Was it that what _she_ was? A silly, naive person. One of those she hated the most. One of those Izaya plays with, one of those she looked down upon her whole life.

Yes, she _was_.

She had been abandoned. Not just by a person, but also by all security she ever had. Her obsession was the only certainty she had. All she ever knew, all her purpose, simply gone. And it was pure agony.

Could being separated from life itself really be worse than this?

Namie grit her teeth, suppressing the hiccups and weeping noises.

She blankly stared at the cellphone clasped tightly in her hand, this device that meant everything to her until mere minutes ago, the only connection left...now severed.  
Namie threw her phone against the wall of the other building, before watching it fall down several floors and disappear in the dark of the night.

She was done. So completely and utterly done.

* * *

Namie feels Izaya's lips on her neck, his breath on her skin as he makes her lie down on the bed. Pushing some pillows out of the way, she entangles her hands in his black hair. The heat rises to her cheeks, and soon to her whole body.  
She spreads her legs as he settles inbetween them, the information broker's hand feeling up her thigh as her toes curl. Moving her fingers to his face, as if to verify that he is actually there, Namie kisses him.

As the seconds tick by, her kisses become more needy, in a way that makes it seem as though she had been waiting for this. Waiting to feel loved...if only for just one moment. Having her intentions reciprocated, if only for just one night.

In a way, Namie is _grateful_ , that _someone_ is there, at this point in time she is so very desperate which is so unlike her. She knows it's not a given in this society, in which out of sight is out of mind. Humans faithfully clinging to illusions until they inevitable get disappointed in the end anyway; losing pieces of themselves along the way, until nothing remains. The illusion...

Right now, it was enough to fill her empty heart. Akin to a drug that makes her forget everything. And everyone.

Izaya smiles softly at her, she blinks in perplexity. Before she realizes that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. Not anymore. Namie returns his smile before leaning in for another kiss.

She feels happy. She feels _free_. It wouldn't matter if she dies now, if he kills her; simply nothing matters anymore.

Maybe she can dance at the edge with him, until they fall together with no one there to prevent them from getting crushed on the ground because they forgot how to sit on clouds.

Every mark he leaves on her makes Namie feel more important. More significant. Is she falling for him?  
Who knows. At least, she doesn't hate his company anymore. She snickers in chosen, blissful ignorance.

Izaya cherishes her body, keeping his thoughts in obscurity as his tongue pampers her lush breasts and his hand finds its way to her intimate parts, caressing the warm, soft walls; his fingertip brushing the tiny bud.  
She is admittedly a quite beauteous woman, Izaya thinks to himself as Namie shifts under him, letting out a delightful gasp as his fingers get wetter and ultimately penetrate her.  
Is he falling for her?

The ebon-haired woman closes her eyes, her fingers eager to keep feeling _him_ , seeking contact wherever they can reach as she senses gentleness where she has never been touched before. A tear rolling down her cheek, her nails dig in the skin of Izaya's shoulders.  
It's not physical pain Namie feels, merely an unwanted memory of the person she always believed would be taking her virginity away.

The black, endless orbs link with a crimson fire as a palm is suddenly cupping her cheek, erasing all her thoughts in the moment he enters her with one quick push of his hips, tearing the chains of her past apart as his hands and mouth ghost over her shell; showering her with endearment while she can feel him deep inside of her.

All that's left of her, is _his_ in this moment.

Izaya's sounds make her shiver as he's thrusting, sliding in and out of her; his movements bringing her closer to her climax as they become more fierce. She is holding as tightly as she can onto him, crying and screaming, swearing he whispers her name from time to time, ever so sweetly, until it all stops; even then, she continues clinging to him, defying the overwhelming emptiness as he slips out of her.

Namie permitted Izaya to see a vulnerable side, her most critical weakness she showed to the worst person. She feels defeated, but also like she gained something she never considered. Even though she can't quite put her finger on what exactly it is.  
A choice, perhaps? An option. A _chance_.

She feels precious to him. For the first time in her life she actually feels precious to someone.

Maybe it was all an illusion, a plan of his, perhaps it was all a trick to destroy her, but in this very moment, with him pressed closely to her, Namie can't help but to laugh, as he's fondling her cheeks, nuzzling her face and filling her with a warm, fuzzy feeling she never thought possible.

"I'm happy you didn't jump."


End file.
